The first time I ever did stand-up

I've wanted to do stand-up since I was a kid. I remember back to the fourth grade and we had to do this sorta talent show-type thing and most kids were just reciting poems and the like. Me, though, I decided that I wanted to do comedy and, I was nine, rather than write jokes, I just remembered a bunch that I saw from terrible comics on terrible TV shows like A&E's An Evening at the Improv and recited those.

These jokes were stunningly awful. The only one I can remember was by some hack, no doubt, and it was something along the lines of "California has now made it legal for animal sacrifice for religious purposes. I guess that makes Kentucky Fried Chicken the world's largest religion." I'm guessing that whoever wrote that joke has made a handsome living writing Jay Leno monologues.

So a few years back, after many years of hemming and hawing about it, I finally got the nerve to do stand-up and did so at Ein-Stein, this awful little bar on College near the U of T campus (though, looking at the website, they might have renovated the place), on a Sunday night for their open mic night. I had been there a couple of weeks earlier to sort of survey the scene to see the quality of the talent and there were a few local comic that I recognized and some were pretty decent. I was slightly intimidated.

By the grace of the Baby Jesus, though, the night I went, it was hack after hack. The people that went on before me made me look like George Carlin in comparison. It also didn't hurt that a billion of my friends showed up and comprised most of the audience. You can even hear my buddy John say loudly "No matter what he says, laugh loudly."

Looking back at this I cringe at how awful I was and assure you that I have gotten really good good somewhat better...I still do stand-up.